Code 6 about honesty
A child just says it as it is, straight forward.
The way I define being honest, when it is about communication, is: "to be true to yourself."
A CEO from a large business asked for an appointment with me. The first visit lasted for around 60 minutes, just to find out if that which he needed to work on, was something I could help him with.
In the end three other associates from abroad came to Oslo to work with the Potensia Method and me. First they all came separate and on the fifth meeting we were working as a team. This was before Covid and Zoom times.
I am very lucky to speak a few languages which ment that we quite quickly came to a position where we had a common platform to work out from.
The reason why this business needed guidance was that they had new competitors in their field and they really moved fast forward.
The company had been the largest in Scandinavia but quite a few of their employees had gone over to the new competitors, because their working conditions were much better.
When we started to look ar how long, those who left, had been with the company, it was always those who had been for the longest time.
This was an obvious indication that the company had not followed up the expectations of the employees.
We looked at the original goals had been stated and intentions towards the employees, the customers and the production departments and saw that it did not match with the current development. v
The leaders thought that they were following the original intentions but through our work together they saw that the company, for years, had not stuck to them.
The company was not true to their original intentions, this was due to lack of communication between the different departments as well as leaders and teams.
The same happens in our lives if we are not honest and true to our intentions towards those we communicate with. It will always end up in a negative way.
Our body language, our words, all communication will reveal that not everything is as it should be.
The customers had also noticed this and started to rather choose the other, new company, where the tone and the energy was open, friendly and effective.
The result of our work toghether was that the leaders first of all had to go in and work with their personal awareness towards being true to the companies intentions and goals.
After that we worked on finding good and congruent communication in relation to the employees, so that they in the end did receive the same level of awareness as their leaders.
The result was that they all had the same mutual goals which did strengthen their company on all levels.
All customers did receive mails with information what was going to happen from then on. Everything was colored by the new consiousness: "to be true to the companies highest intentions".
This company does today, once again have the same position as they used to have.
The credibility that it used to have is back and its leaders, employees do transmit this to their customers and products.
A few weeks ago I was in the city and ran into a man I know but with whom I no longer have contact. It was late afternoon and I was on my way home. So was he. We decided to grab a cup of coffee together since we had not seen each other for several years. He looked tired and had put on a lot of weight. His eyes were empty and sad. I asked him how life was.
"Oh, everything is fine," he replied hesitantly at first. He was unable to look me in the eye when he answered.
We found a place to sit out in the sun and sat down. Through other acquaintances I knew that he and his wife were not doing so well together. I also knew he would not have asked me to drink coffee with him had he not wanted to speak with me.
In the past we had been in contact for many years and knew each other's backgrounds. I had always appreciated him as a person and we used to talk a lot together. I started to tell him a little about my life, and I slowly narrowed the subject down to my no longer having been able to live a lie and because of this having had to make changes.
He told me that he and his wife had not had an active sex life during the last seven years. He suffered as a result and tried to find other ways to stimulate his need, which he told me about. He had been completely honest and told his wife about this and she had accepted it.
They travelled together on vacation to their home in Southern Europe and were often together with friends. Their children brought their friends and came to visit sometimes, but most often when mother and father were not there. He felt he had lost contact with his children.
He and his wife lived side by side out of habit. They no longer had anything in common except children, property and their social life. Discussing anything together was impossible. He said their discussions revolved solely around practical matters and how they would organize the day. Each had their own cell phone, separate bedroom and car. He said it was more like living in a collective and he found this painful. He longed to share his life with a warm and loving woman. They still had their cottage and he used it the most. He buried himself in books, art and alcohol. He was successful in his career and had plans to retire in two years. The greatest pleasure in life for this man was to be alone in his cottage with his books and the alcohol. He said he lived from week to week. Never had he consciously thought about why he escaped into his own world every evening and weekend. As he said himself:
"I guess I live a very unconscious life, because up to now I have never talked to anyone about this."
I asked him why he and his wife still lived together.
"We are good friends, we have so many financial ties, and I am afraid of what my children, parents and friends would say. We have a high profile social life, too, so there would be lots of talk," he replied.
"That's a high price to pay for being voluntarily unhappy," I said.
He was quiet and finally admitted he had never actually thought about it that way. He had just lived from day to day and things had just turned out the way they were. He actually had nothing to complain about. He had a wife, children, house, cottage, good job and nice friends.
The only thing he could really complain about was his faltering health. He had problems with his heart and knees. "Imagine really feeling happy, like you did when you were young. Then would you be able to do without, let's say your cabin?" I asked him.
It took him a long time to respond.
"You know, it's many years since I felt happy, so I really don't know what it feels like anymore. I can laugh at jokes and films but being truly happy is no longer a part of my life."
I repeated my question once more and he finally answered.
"Yes, I could, if I could really be as happy as before."
"But that just proves you believe it may be possible for you to find your way back to who you want to be, and that you can have things be the way you want" I said.
"Basically, yes" was his reply.
I told him a bit about what I had had to do for inner happiness to return to my life. He listened with great attention. I briefly described my work to him. He was not aware that I had continued my education and worked with coaching, etc. As a result of our conversation, he started to train and changed his diet.
Eventually he understood that both his heart and knee problems were related to his lifestyle. I explained to him that eating incorrectly and suppressing feelings is often stressful for the heart. And the knees cannot take the overload due to extra weight. He planned to tell his wife about our conversation over the summer, and both would begin asking themselves: "Are we worth this, and am I worth this?"
Because he was an old friend, I did not want him to come to me for guidance. However, he could visit a colleague of mine if he were interested. Now I know this couple has figured things out in such a way that both feel they have made the correct decision in terms of living a dignified life where happiness can be allowed to reenter their lives.
In a process where one decides "they must straighten things out so that vitality can return", some people will often give up. This applies to both companies and personal relationships. There are some who simply do not want to make changes in their lives for fear of the consequences.
During such a process it is important to rid oneself of misconceptions that block development, and to install new ideas that lead to growth. It is therefore important to figure out what's what and the underlying causes that have made things the way they are, so one clearly knows what one wants to change in order to no longer live a lie.
Sometimes we have to decide that there are certain people we can no longer relate to, if they are the ones blocking our path for continued growth. There are situations in which those we work or live with simply do not wish to be part of the change. This leaves us no choice if we are to move forward. It is painful when someone stays behind and does not want to come along, but this is also something we must accept.
Many people come to me for physiotherapy treatment because of aches and pains related to their living a lie. When these clients become aware of the connection, there is not one that I have met that does not start to straighten out their lives. This applies for both young and old, and men and women.
It has not dawned on them that their living a lie may be the root of their problems.
We do not live in a society that appreciates knowledge about these matters. We live in a society that demands that everything always function in every way – no matter what! No wonder we become sick if we follow these demands.
Think about what we have gone through in this blog so far.
When you use the 7 codes as a foundation when you want to communicate about something, nthen you can be sure that your message will be understood and received.
We started with Code No.1 about "to accept"
No. 2 a bout your PD
No. 3 thinking with your Heart
No. 4 Courage
No. 5 about Energy
No. 6 about Honesty
And what No. 7 is about, well you will see next time, just follow me.
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